Trump releases the "wrong" country from travel ban?


According to a new executive order signed by President Trump on March 6, 2017, refugees from six Middle Eastern countries, as opposed to seven as the original order stated, are now officially banned from entering the United States.

Mr. Trump’s initial ban which was issued on January 27, 2017, included seven middle eastern countries including Iraq and Iran. However, The President decided to reinstate Iran after he viewed a video made by what he thought was the Iranian government. This video, which is linked below, explained to The President the extent of Iran's advancements, or lack thereof, and their disdain for former Iranian leader Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

In a statement provided by Mr. Trump after viewing the video, he said “Believe it or not, I didn’t really care for that Ahmadin whatever guy either. Don’t get me wrong, he had some fantastic policy ideas, he really did, fantastic, seriously, so I believe in some ways he was heading his country in the right direction, but no one THAT poor should ever get to be president of any country. Even if it is just to preside over brown people that live on Camel steaks and hummus.” He went on to say that “Ketchup, so much better than hummus, so much better.”

Also, according to The President, while America is most definitely first, (the debate as to who is second is still being largely contested by several European nations and Japan) Iran is obviously the best country in the Middle East, or as The President puts it, “In that big sandy area where they look like Mexicans but aren’t really Mexican. They don’t make terrorists there, they just make cars, really bad cars, and they have lady scientists. I mean C’mon, how much of a threat can they be?”

However, The President seems to have made a mistake by lifting the ban from Iraq instead of Iran. While he could not be reached for comment, he did take to Twitter to defend his position.

“Liberal media is out to make me look badd. The Q and N are interchangeable in the middle east, not everyone knows this, I do! I'm POTUS!"